Why I'm Staying Home This St Patrick's Day

Maybe I'm just old, but I am over going out on St. Patrick's Day, the weekend before, or any time where people are expected to wear green and drink watered down "beer." I have come to hate St. Patrick's Day. Now, wait a minute. I wear a claddagh ring, I have more shamrock-y stuff lying around my room than a leprechaun in training, and I am one of the four human beings who actually enjoys the sound of bagpipes. My mother was a McLaughlin! If I can't love St. Patrick's Day, who can? For one, I love that a day is devoted to Irish culture, I hate the bar scene. I love the smell of corned beef and cabbage cooking in my home, I hate the smell of the vomit lining the bar bathroom, entrance way, parking lot, and the hair of half of the people here. I love toasting with a Jameson and cranberry, there are few things more offensive than coloring Miller Lite green and calling it "Irish" beer. I love listening to my favorite Irish artists, I hate the so...